Hi! Thanks for your comments on my blog last week. I completely forgot about dharma in Hindu culture, so I'm glad you mentioned it. Also, it's good to hear encouraging words from another premed student. You are much braver than I am by posting your personal statement to your blog. We'll get through this semester in one piece despite work, class, and secondary applications!
Hey, I am just replying to your comment from my introduction. You should really watch El Internado, it is a really good show that everyone likes. You should watch it and see, plus it would help with the spanish minor. I think that it is really interesting to learn about other cultures so I do try to do multiple things with it. Dogs are great and anytime I see them I just play with them!
Hi Christen! This is a feedback post in response to your StoryBook introduction! Great job on it!
I think this idea is so unique and definitely intriguing! I have read a little bit about the creation story of Hinduism through my extra readings (Brahma Dreaming, by J. Jackson) and some wikipedia trails posts -- it's really interesting stuff, so I was so happy to see you tackling it here. Even though I have begun to read a little bit of the backstory, I am still pretty unfamiliar with most of these ideas. I think it would be helpful if you write this for someone who has no background what-so-ever in what you're presenting, which means that you need to repeat and reiterate things and clarify often. :) Otherwise we/I get a little lost.
Also, I don't yet see how the Nakshatras tie in very much yet. Will that be included in the stories, how it was fated in the Nakshatras to go this way? This is neat! I had an old professor (he taught Sanskrit) who was a temple priest and read each of our Nakshatras for us at the end of the semester. It was really confusing, but very neat and sweet of him to do, and I almost forgot about it completely until I saw your post! I had to click on the source to figure out what it actually was (and then it jogged my memory), but you might also want to include something about how it is older than traditional hellenistic astrology. :) Something enticing on the "A Divine Journey" page might also be really nice to, something to lure us in. What about "It was fated to play out according to their Nakshatras...." or something more clever than that.
Otherwise, this is a really GRAND idea, and I'm going to check back in to see how it progresses! So cool! Very well written intro!
Some simple clarifiers might be really helpful here: For each of the dynamic duos.... Duos of male/female god/goddess pairings? Karma, got it, Dharma... righteous acts? a clarifying clause would be good here!
Sati and Shiva... So, Sati is one of the human forms of Saraswati? Oh, you almost clarified it here! "The next story displays the destruction of the beautiful love between Sati and Shiva, a tale of the loss of innocence that leads to the first tragic end of one of Saraswati’s divided forms." Can you end it this way? --->..... the first tragic end of one of Saraswati's divided forms, Sati.
This paragraph could use a couple of clarifiers. "The next story displays the destruction of the beautiful love between Sati and Shiva, a tale of the loss of innocence that leads to the first tragic end of one of Saraswati’s divided forms. We see how Saraswati deals with the failure of this union, while she also balances the increasingly complicated relationship between Rama and Sita, and her own struggles with Brahma." So, she's balancing the complicated relationship with Rama, because Sita is one of her incarnate/avatar forms?
I really like the beginning of this storybook. It gives the reader an almost mystical perspective of the events that are going to unfold. It also gives the reader a sense of scale, of how the characters involved have cosmic abilities. But even with those cosmic powers, the gods aren't immune to Karma and Dharma. I honestly couldn't think of much to change. As your storybook progresses, you might edit the introduction to give a teaser of each part of the story. If you want to give the reader only a general overview of the story to come, you might remove the short summaries from the introduction. There are a lot of deities mentioned in the first paragraph. It might be good to give the reader a quick overview of exactly who these characters are. What do they control? Who are they allied with?
I love that this story is about something that I'm not particularly familiar with... I've heard of the Holy Trinity, but never the Hinidi Trinity! I always find it really interesting how religious doctrines often have similar stories or templates regarding their mythologies. In future stories, I think it might be really helpful to create a kind of flow-chart so that we know who is related to whom and who is involved with whom and what they are doing with the other person... this sounds like a story ripe for gossip and intrigue! I'd also love a little more background on how the stories impacted Hindi creation stories in general, but I realize that you're still really early on in the process. Maybe you could create a dossier of characters? You have probably gleaned from this comment that I really love organization and charts and such... I'm a bit of a nerd that way. Great job with the story!
Wow I'd never heard of the Hinidi Trinity before so it's really interesting to get this kind of new perspective on a material like this. It's really interesting how religious and historical elements and archetypes can make their way across many different cultures. I'm going to send Jake's comments about adding some kind of flowchart. As-is, it can be a bit hard to really follow much of the material. I do think it's an extremely interesting idea though and I really am interested in seeing where you end up going with it. It'd be nice if we could get a bit more information about the material you're working with. There's lots of tactful and stealthy ways to kind of slip this in without just beating the reader over the head with it. Either way, I think you've got a great start here and I look forward to seeing what you do with it. Good luck with any and all revisions!
As soon as I open your storybook I see the cool picture with all of the signs and I am already so excited to read this! It is a great picture to start with. I also really like all of the backstory that you give to the history that is behind your stories. It really helps to paint a good picture for what we can be expecting from your stories. The way you write is also very smooth and fluid and east to read! Which is nice with all of the names that can be difficult to pronounce. It looks like the introduction is the only thing you have on there though. Its set up so nicely that I was really looking forward to reading something! I'm sure whatever you end up posting and getting up will be great! Stick with the great writing style you have. I'll be back to read your stories when you upload them!
Hi Christen, First of all, your site is very appealing at first glance. I like the colors that are being used! It has kind of a romantic or dramatic vibe. As I started reading your introduction, it fit the mood perfectly. I just thought I should comment on that! The content of your introduction is great. It is well thought out and evident that you are knowledgeable about the subject matter. It is very well written and sets the tone for an exciting storybook. I can’t wait to read more! Your last paragraph is awesome. The questions that you ask do a great job of building suspense. I’m really excited to read the rest of your storybook as the semester goes on. As far as small details, I did notice that in the first paragraph, the sentence that begins “However, some will find that their crimes…” there is a comma after the word “dismiss” that I can’t decide if it’s necessary. Again in the second paragraph, the sentence that begins “However, she warns Brahma…”, there is a comma after Shiva that I don’t think you need. You can look at both of those and see what you think. They are minor details! Overall, I love what you have so far!
Hi Christen! I hadn’t gotten to look at your Storybook before, and I have to say that it is a very interesting idea! I really like that you’ve decided to tell a romance story using the different parts or incarnations or energy whatevers of Saraswati. I’m honestly a little confused on that whole notion, but I’ve started reading about it so hopefully it will clear up soon!
Anyway, I really enjoyed your first story. Your introduction was a little uninspiring in my opinion, since it just basically laid out the story like an introduction to a paper, but the first story was great. I really loved the imagery that you used throughout the story. Combined with the pictures, it definitely created the perfect picture in my head of what was happening. I’m really looking forward to your future stories.
My only negative feedback is on the introduction, but that’s not necessarily something that needs to change! It sets up the story and the very end of it definitely made me want to read that first story, so it still served its purpose!
Hi Christen! I have to say, I love your style of writing very much. It is very advanced and straight to the point which I appreciate. I think you did an amazing job with your descriptions. It was easy for me to picture the story in my head which helped me to connect with it more. Your story mentions the lotus petal several times. I wonder how the flower became so significant in the history. Maybe it was a gift from one of the gods to their loved one. I am very curious. As for some revisions, I didn’t find many at all. You did an amazing job with writing your story and proofreading it. I am telling you to revise this part because Professor Gibbs has commented about it on my stories several times. In the part where you say, the petal seemed to be floating just beneath the surface of the sea,” try changing it to, “the petal floated just beneath the surface of the sea”. That is all. Again, amazing job with your story!
Hello again. I really like your style. It's very formal and yet still really gets to where it intends. It doesn't wander and leave the reader confused with what it's trying to do. So well done on that front. I think your first story is excellent very well done. The tone is maintained very well throughout which makes the piece flow much better so as not to confuse the reader. The visuals you've used both explicitly with images and implicitly through descriptive language work very well and do an excellent job of both painting the world we're in and in drawing the reader in so they want to keep reading the piece before them. It's been fun seeing how this storybook has developed over the last few weeks that have passed since I last looked at it. Well done so far and good luck with it for the rest of the semester!
I love the premise of your storybook! The themes of reincarnation and dharma certainly appear a lot in the Mahabharata and the Ramayana, so I love that you picked that as your topic! Your first story did a really good job of setting up the story too! I hadn't ever read the creation story, but I liked your take on it. I just was a little confused at the beginning with all the three beings? You said Brahma was the first one, so he was the one in the lotus? And then Vishnu is the one that the lotus emerged from? And then the mysterious third being is just there and disappears? When you said later that Brahma was the first being I got confused about which one he was. Maybe you could have more descriptors for which being is which because continuously referring to a being made it confusing for me. But otherwise great description and great story! Looking forward to reading more!
You had me hooked onto your storybook from the beginning. I loved the picture and was very curious as to what your stories are going to be about. I always wondered how this all came to be and we never really read anything it in these stories so yours was really good. It provided us with a beginning that we do not really get elsewhere. We all saw how everything came to be and what happened. I am really curious as to what will happen to Shiva and Vishnu. I mean I kind of have an idea as I have read multiple stories and seen shows but I want to know how you are going to write these stories.
Hey Christen! You have chosen a really interesting topic for your Storybook, one that I have not read much about or heard much of until reading through your introduction. I think that you do a good job of explaining what the Nakshratas of the Trinity are and why they are important. I think adding a bit more mystery throughout your introduction, as well as having a more narrative voice could make this even more intriguing for your readers! Your first story does do a good job of giving a framework for you to work with for future stories. I definitely think you could add some more dialogue throughout the story, just to give more perspective from the characters. I do love that you chose to include so many photos in your Storybook because that helps me visualize what the characters look like and set the scene for the story. I can’t wait to come back and read some more of your stories!
Hey, Christen! Thanks for sharing this creation story—I’ve actually never encountered it before, and I can tell that you put a lot of thought into your description. The style is excellent, very appropriate to your lofty subject matter here. Since I’m not very familiar with this origin story, I want to take the chance to note a few things which I was still uncertain of when I finished reading. Obviously, this is a complex theogony, so some of it just might be hard to wrap my head around; ignore anything that isn’t helpful or solvable! First, how does Shiva, “the destroyer”, help maintain balance? His appearance seems counter to Brahma and Vishnu’s goal of preventing destruction, the statement of which actually makes Shiva appear. Also, it wasn’t until I read your author’s note that I realized the third character was actually the primary creator; usually, I associate primary with first, not third. You might want to consider referring to Devi (the “mysterious third character”) as the “first”, if she’s the “primary” creator. The fact that she’s “formed from the heavens” and mentioned last also makes me think she’s derivative of, or at most equal with, Brahma and Vishnu. I’m really excited to see how you weave all of this together. “Cloud Atlas” is masterful work, so just by taking that as your model, you’ve captured my interest!
The idea of the Nakshatras is so interesting, and also new, since nothing about it has been mentioned in the required readings for epics of India. At first, it's a little difficult to understand how the Nakshatras are related to the theme of your storybook. It sounds like the three main deity couples are the main focus your storybook, based on the introduction. However, after some careful reading, it's clear that Nakshatras describes their fates, so you're sharing stories about each of their fates. It is interesting how your first post in your storybook isn't based on any readings from our class, but instead comes from Wikipedia articles. Most storybooks I've seen have very few pictures, so a strong point of yours was the use of images to help set your creation scene. Great job choosing the pictures for the creation story, and hopefully more stories will reinforce your theme!
Hello Christen! This was the first time I was able to look at your storybook! I thought your story book was very thought out and very detailed. I read your introduction and first attachment of your storybook and enjoyed them both. I like how you were able to fully explain what exactly you were going to talk about for the rest of your storybook. The way you wrote it gave me the idea that this is something very mystical and immortal. You were also able to really show a lot of detail in your first attachment! I really love the idea of all 3 of the deities meeting up to talk about creation was awesome to me! The relationships that has been built with Brahma and Saraswati is very cool to me to how they both have a mutual respect for each other and they were able to mold the universe. All in all I really enjoyed this descripted creation story!
Hi Christen! This is such an interesting idea for your story book! I like how it is very real and stays true to the original stories that you are using for you references. It makes me feel like I am reading a true Indian epic rather than a retelling of one. Very neat! All of the detail that you put into your story is so incredible. I feel as though I am watching the world being created. I also really like the way that your website looks. The purple background is so pretty, and I think it plays into the whole creation/divine aspect that you are writing about. Plus, I love the picture of the astrology on your cover page...very mystical! One thing I would consider changing is the font in the first paragraph of your "In the Beginning" story. I like the font and the size, but if there could be a way to put some space in-between each line, that would be great! It is kind of difficult for me to read because it's somewhat squished together. Like I said, I love everything about your story and I'm excited to read more!
Hi Christen! It is unbelievable to be in the final weeks of the course and I have not even visited your blog page or story book until this week! I read your "Introduction" and "In the Beginning" post. I really like the concept of your storybook; I always love to hear of the stories behind how the universe was created from different cultures. I really enjoyed reading the part about the lotus petals; I thought you did a great job on visuals there. There were some parts that are a little confusing for me (I have never read about the Hindu Trinity). Maybe give a little more detail about the characters and how you are pairing the characters or maybe just by simply giving a little more background information on them would help clarify a few things. You could simply add this extra information in your introduction post or even in the author's notes. Other than that I really enjoyed the read! Thank you.
Hello again! I can't believe we're finally down to the last few weeks of school and I guess I can't really wait either haha. You've done some really interesting things here and for the most part, you've done them pretty well. Where'd you get the idea for this kind of work? It seems really unique and not something that one would just come up with so easily. I love the concept though. I personally really enjoy creation stories - I had a class here at OU that spent several weeks just talking about various creation stories for different religious groups so it's nice to see someone using that kind of idea as the basis for their material. I personally have never heard of the Hindu trilogy and so that part kind of confused me quite a bit. I think you should consider adding some kinds of wiki links for your readers so they can understand what you're talking about. Great job though and good luck with the rest of the semester!
Hey Christen! I haven’t read much about the Hindu Trinity so your story was interesting to read and get more information about. I have not read hardly anything about Saraswati and Brahma, so it was cool to be able to read your take on their stories as well as the introduction to their stories. Without the context given in your introduction, I think that the stories would have been a little difficult to follow. I also really liked the photos your chose for each of your stories and introduction. I think that going throughout your entire Storybook you do a great job!
I read your "In the Beginning" post and really like it. It was a cool take on the original story and the story from The Bible. I loved that you used such rich imagery in your writing. I especially loved the beginning when you talked about the lotus petals and the water. You painted a perfect picture in my mind of that. I like that the creators originally weren't going to give people the same knowledge and power as them, keeping them ignorant, to keep the world safe. But then Saraswati encouraged the three to instill passion and love and knowledge into the other beings. Which is a very sympathetic thing for her to suggest. I love that you were able to portray her kind disposition here. I also like how you left this off as sort of a cliff hanger. You mention that the people envy the love that Brahma and Saraswati have and then Saraswati wishes to help them obtain it. It was a perfect introduction to your storybook! I wish I would have stumbled upon it sooner! I didn't catch any typos either. Everything looked wonderful!
Hi! Thanks for your comments on my blog last week. I completely forgot about dharma in Hindu culture, so I'm glad you mentioned it. Also, it's good to hear encouraging words from another premed student. You are much braver than I am by posting your personal statement to your blog. We'll get through this semester in one piece despite work, class, and secondary applications!
ReplyDeleteHey, I am just replying to your comment from my introduction. You should really watch El Internado, it is a really good show that everyone likes. You should watch it and see, plus it would help with the spanish minor. I think that it is really interesting to learn about other cultures so I do try to do multiple things with it. Dogs are great and anytime I see them I just play with them!
ReplyDeleteHi Christen! This is a feedback post in response to your StoryBook introduction! Great job on it!
ReplyDeleteI think this idea is so unique and definitely intriguing! I have read a little bit about the creation story of Hinduism through my extra readings (Brahma Dreaming, by J. Jackson) and some wikipedia trails posts -- it's really interesting stuff, so I was so happy to see you tackling it here. Even though I have begun to read a little bit of the backstory, I am still pretty unfamiliar with most of these ideas. I think it would be helpful if you write this for someone who has no background what-so-ever in what you're presenting, which means that you need to repeat and reiterate things and clarify often. :) Otherwise we/I get a little lost.
Also, I don't yet see how the Nakshatras tie in very much yet. Will that be included in the stories, how it was fated in the Nakshatras to go this way? This is neat! I had an old professor (he taught Sanskrit) who was a temple priest and read each of our Nakshatras for us at the end of the semester. It was really confusing, but very neat and sweet of him to do, and I almost forgot about it completely until I saw your post! I had to click on the source to figure out what it actually was (and then it jogged my memory), but you might also want to include something about how it is older than traditional hellenistic astrology. :) Something enticing on the "A Divine Journey" page might also be really nice to, something to lure us in. What about "It was fated to play out according to their Nakshatras...." or something more clever than that.
Otherwise, this is a really GRAND idea, and I'm going to check back in to see how it progresses! So cool! Very well written intro!
Some simple clarifiers might be really helpful here:
For each of the dynamic duos.... Duos of male/female god/goddess pairings?
Karma, got it, Dharma... righteous acts? a clarifying clause would be good here!
Sati and Shiva... So, Sati is one of the human forms of Saraswati? Oh, you almost clarified it here! "The next story displays the destruction of the beautiful love between Sati and Shiva, a tale of the loss of innocence that leads to the first tragic end of one of Saraswati’s divided forms." Can you end it this way? --->..... the first tragic end of one of Saraswati's divided forms, Sati.
This paragraph could use a couple of clarifiers. "The next story displays the destruction of the beautiful love between Sati and Shiva, a tale of the loss of innocence that leads to the first tragic end of one of Saraswati’s divided forms. We see how Saraswati deals with the failure of this union, while she also balances the increasingly complicated relationship between Rama and Sita, and her own struggles with Brahma." So, she's balancing the complicated relationship with Rama, because Sita is one of her incarnate/avatar forms?
I really like the beginning of this storybook. It gives the reader an almost mystical perspective of the events that are going to unfold. It also gives the reader a sense of scale, of how the characters involved have cosmic abilities. But even with those cosmic powers, the gods aren't immune to Karma and Dharma.
ReplyDeleteI honestly couldn't think of much to change. As your storybook progresses, you might edit the introduction to give a teaser of each part of the story. If you want to give the reader only a general overview of the story to come, you might remove the short summaries from the introduction. There are a lot of deities mentioned in the first paragraph. It might be good to give the reader a quick overview of exactly who these characters are. What do they control? Who are they allied with?
I love that this story is about something that I'm not particularly familiar with... I've heard of the Holy Trinity, but never the Hinidi Trinity! I always find it really interesting how religious doctrines often have similar stories or templates regarding their mythologies. In future stories, I think it might be really helpful to create a kind of flow-chart so that we know who is related to whom and who is involved with whom and what they are doing with the other person... this sounds like a story ripe for gossip and intrigue! I'd also love a little more background on how the stories impacted Hindi creation stories in general, but I realize that you're still really early on in the process. Maybe you could create a dossier of characters? You have probably gleaned from this comment that I really love organization and charts and such... I'm a bit of a nerd that way. Great job with the story!
ReplyDeleteWow I'd never heard of the Hinidi Trinity before so it's really interesting to get this kind of new perspective on a material like this. It's really interesting how religious and historical elements and archetypes can make their way across many different cultures. I'm going to send Jake's comments about adding some kind of flowchart. As-is, it can be a bit hard to really follow much of the material. I do think it's an extremely interesting idea though and I really am interested in seeing where you end up going with it. It'd be nice if we could get a bit more information about the material you're working with. There's lots of tactful and stealthy ways to kind of slip this in without just beating the reader over the head with it. Either way, I think you've got a great start here and I look forward to seeing what you do with it. Good luck with any and all revisions!
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I open your storybook I see the cool picture with all of the signs and I am already so excited to read this! It is a great picture to start with. I also really like all of the backstory that you give to the history that is behind your stories. It really helps to paint a good picture for what we can be expecting from your stories. The way you write is also very smooth and fluid and east to read! Which is nice with all of the names that can be difficult to pronounce. It looks like the introduction is the only thing you have on there though. Its set up so nicely that I was really looking forward to reading something! I'm sure whatever you end up posting and getting up will be great! Stick with the great writing style you have. I'll be back to read your stories when you upload them!
ReplyDeleteHi Christen,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your site is very appealing at first glance. I like the colors that are being used! It has kind of a romantic or dramatic vibe. As I started reading your introduction, it fit the mood perfectly. I just thought I should comment on that!
The content of your introduction is great. It is well thought out and evident that you are knowledgeable about the subject matter. It is very well written and sets the tone for an exciting storybook. I can’t wait to read more!
Your last paragraph is awesome. The questions that you ask do a great job of building suspense. I’m really excited to read the rest of your storybook as the semester goes on.
As far as small details, I did notice that in the first paragraph, the sentence that begins “However, some will find that their crimes…” there is a comma after the word “dismiss” that I can’t decide if it’s necessary.
Again in the second paragraph, the sentence that begins “However, she warns Brahma…”, there is a comma after Shiva that I don’t think you need.
You can look at both of those and see what you think. They are minor details!
Overall, I love what you have so far!
Hi Christen! I hadn’t gotten to look at your Storybook before, and I have to say that it is a very interesting idea! I really like that you’ve decided to tell a romance story using the different parts or incarnations or energy whatevers of Saraswati. I’m honestly a little confused on that whole notion, but I’ve started reading about it so hopefully it will clear up soon!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I really enjoyed your first story. Your introduction was a little uninspiring in my opinion, since it just basically laid out the story like an introduction to a paper, but the first story was great. I really loved the imagery that you used throughout the story. Combined with the pictures, it definitely created the perfect picture in my head of what was happening. I’m really looking forward to your future stories.
My only negative feedback is on the introduction, but that’s not necessarily something that needs to change! It sets up the story and the very end of it definitely made me want to read that first story, so it still served its purpose!
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ReplyDeleteHi Christen! I have to say, I love your style of writing very much. It is very advanced and straight to the point which I appreciate. I think you did an amazing job with your descriptions. It was easy for me to picture the story in my head which helped me to connect with it more. Your story mentions the lotus petal several times. I wonder how the flower became so significant in the history. Maybe it was a gift from one of the gods to their loved one. I am very curious. As for some revisions, I didn’t find many at all. You did an amazing job with writing your story and proofreading it. I am telling you to revise this part because Professor Gibbs has commented about it on my stories several times. In the part where you say, the petal seemed to be floating just beneath the surface of the sea,” try changing it to, “the petal floated just beneath the surface of the sea”. That is all. Again, amazing job with your story!
ReplyDeleteHello again. I really like your style. It's very formal and yet still really gets to where it intends. It doesn't wander and leave the reader confused with what it's trying to do. So well done on that front. I think your first story is excellent very well done. The tone is maintained very well throughout which makes the piece flow much better so as not to confuse the reader. The visuals you've used both explicitly with images and implicitly through descriptive language work very well and do an excellent job of both painting the world we're in and in drawing the reader in so they want to keep reading the piece before them. It's been fun seeing how this storybook has developed over the last few weeks that have passed since I last looked at it. Well done so far and good luck with it for the rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteI love the premise of your storybook! The themes of reincarnation and dharma certainly appear a lot in the Mahabharata and the Ramayana, so I love that you picked that as your topic! Your first story did a really good job of setting up the story too! I hadn't ever read the creation story, but I liked your take on it. I just was a little confused at the beginning with all the three beings? You said Brahma was the first one, so he was the one in the lotus? And then Vishnu is the one that the lotus emerged from? And then the mysterious third being is just there and disappears? When you said later that Brahma was the first being I got confused about which one he was. Maybe you could have more descriptors for which being is which because continuously referring to a being made it confusing for me. But otherwise great description and great story! Looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteYou had me hooked onto your storybook from the beginning. I loved the picture and was very curious as to what your stories are going to be about. I always wondered how this all came to be and we never really read anything it in these stories so yours was really good. It provided us with a beginning that we do not really get elsewhere. We all saw how everything came to be and what happened. I am really curious as to what will happen to Shiva and Vishnu. I mean I kind of have an idea as I have read multiple stories and seen shows but I want to know how you are going to write these stories.
ReplyDeleteHey Christen! You have chosen a really interesting topic for your Storybook, one that I have not read much about or heard much of until reading through your introduction. I think that you do a good job of explaining what the Nakshratas of the Trinity are and why they are important. I think adding a bit more mystery throughout your introduction, as well as having a more narrative voice could make this even more intriguing for your readers! Your first story does do a good job of giving a framework for you to work with for future stories. I definitely think you could add some more dialogue throughout the story, just to give more perspective from the characters. I do love that you chose to include so many photos in your Storybook because that helps me visualize what the characters look like and set the scene for the story. I can’t wait to come back and read some more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHey, Christen! Thanks for sharing this creation story—I’ve actually never encountered it before, and I can tell that you put a lot of thought into your description. The style is excellent, very appropriate to your lofty subject matter here. Since I’m not very familiar with this origin story, I want to take the chance to note a few things which I was still uncertain of when I finished reading. Obviously, this is a complex theogony, so some of it just might be hard to wrap my head around; ignore anything that isn’t helpful or solvable!
ReplyDeleteFirst, how does Shiva, “the destroyer”, help maintain balance? His appearance seems counter to Brahma and Vishnu’s goal of preventing destruction, the statement of which actually makes Shiva appear.
Also, it wasn’t until I read your author’s note that I realized the third character was actually the primary creator; usually, I associate primary with first, not third. You might want to consider referring to Devi (the “mysterious third character”) as the “first”, if she’s the “primary” creator. The fact that she’s “formed from the heavens” and mentioned last also makes me think she’s derivative of, or at most equal with, Brahma and Vishnu.
I’m really excited to see how you weave all of this together. “Cloud Atlas” is masterful work, so just by taking that as your model, you’ve captured my interest!
The idea of the Nakshatras is so interesting, and also new, since nothing about it has been mentioned in the required readings for epics of India. At first, it's a little difficult to understand how the Nakshatras are related to the theme of your storybook. It sounds like the three main deity couples are the main focus your storybook, based on the introduction. However, after some careful reading, it's clear that Nakshatras describes their fates, so you're sharing stories about each of their fates. It is interesting how your first post in your storybook isn't based on any readings from our class, but instead comes from Wikipedia articles. Most storybooks I've seen have very few pictures, so a strong point of yours was the use of images to help set your creation scene. Great job choosing the pictures for the creation story, and hopefully more stories will reinforce your theme!
ReplyDeleteHello Christen! This was the first time I was able to look at your storybook! I thought your story book was very thought out and very detailed. I read your introduction and first attachment of your storybook and enjoyed them both. I like how you were able to fully explain what exactly you were going to talk about for the rest of your storybook. The way you wrote it gave me the idea that this is something very mystical and immortal. You were also able to really show a lot of detail in your first attachment! I really love the idea of all 3 of the deities meeting up to talk about creation was awesome to me! The relationships that has been built with Brahma and Saraswati is very cool to me to how they both have a mutual respect for each other and they were able to mold the universe. All in all I really enjoyed this descripted creation story!
ReplyDeleteHi Christen! This is such an interesting idea for your story book! I like how it is very real and stays true to the original stories that you are using for you references. It makes me feel like I am reading a true Indian epic rather than a retelling of one. Very neat! All of the detail that you put into your story is so incredible. I feel as though I am watching the world being created. I also really like the way that your website looks. The purple background is so pretty, and I think it plays into the whole creation/divine aspect that you are writing about. Plus, I love the picture of the astrology on your cover page...very mystical! One thing I would consider changing is the font in the first paragraph of your "In the Beginning" story. I like the font and the size, but if there could be a way to put some space in-between each line, that would be great! It is kind of difficult for me to read because it's somewhat squished together. Like I said, I love everything about your story and I'm excited to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Christen!
ReplyDeleteIt is unbelievable to be in the final weeks of the course and I have not even visited your blog page or story book until this week! I read your "Introduction" and "In the Beginning" post. I really like the concept of your storybook; I always love to hear of the stories behind how the universe was created from different cultures. I really enjoyed reading the part about the lotus petals; I thought you did a great job on visuals there.
There were some parts that are a little confusing for me (I have never read about the Hindu Trinity). Maybe give a little more detail about the characters and how you are pairing the characters or maybe just by simply giving a little more background information on them would help clarify a few things. You could simply add this extra information in your introduction post or even in the author's notes. Other than that I really enjoyed the read! Thank you.
Hello again! I can't believe we're finally down to the last few weeks of school and I guess I can't really wait either haha. You've done some really interesting things here and for the most part, you've done them pretty well. Where'd you get the idea for this kind of work? It seems really unique and not something that one would just come up with so easily. I love the concept though. I personally really enjoy creation stories - I had a class here at OU that spent several weeks just talking about various creation stories for different religious groups so it's nice to see someone using that kind of idea as the basis for their material. I personally have never heard of the Hindu trilogy and so that part kind of confused me quite a bit. I think you should consider adding some kinds of wiki links for your readers so they can understand what you're talking about. Great job though and good luck with the rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHey Christen! I haven’t read much about the Hindu Trinity so your story was interesting to read and get more information about. I have not read hardly anything about Saraswati and Brahma, so it was cool to be able to read your take on their stories as well as the introduction to their stories. Without the context given in your introduction, I think that the stories would have been a little difficult to follow. I also really liked the photos your chose for each of your stories and introduction. I think that going throughout your entire Storybook you do a great job!
ReplyDeleteI read your "In the Beginning" post and really like it. It was a cool take on the original story and the story from The Bible. I loved that you used such rich imagery in your writing. I especially loved the beginning when you talked about the lotus petals and the water. You painted a perfect picture in my mind of that. I like that the creators originally weren't going to give people the same knowledge and power as them, keeping them ignorant, to keep the world safe. But then Saraswati encouraged the three to instill passion and love and knowledge into the other beings. Which is a very sympathetic thing for her to suggest. I love that you were able to portray her kind disposition here. I also like how you left this off as sort of a cliff hanger. You mention that the people envy the love that Brahma and Saraswati have and then Saraswati wishes to help them obtain it. It was a perfect introduction to your storybook! I wish I would have stumbled upon it sooner! I didn't catch any typos either. Everything looked wonderful!
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